self love. self acceptance.

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Self love has been an ongoing theme as I’ve moved along my path. More specifically, since the deeper realms of reality met me along the journey. I’ve since begun to understand more and more how self love requires self acceptance. Now of course, perhaps at first this may sound a bit obvious, but over time as I’ve come to meet more and more of the tiny bits and pieces of what make up the vastness of my subconscious, I’m required to sit back and think a little.

There have been many times I’ve come away from meditation, with deep revelation of self and then there have been times in meditation where I’ve simply felt myself drift as part of the ever expanding darkness of pure awareness. Not really here nor there, not really trying to achieve anything, know anything, reflect on anything, but just existing.

Self love is self acceptance. This is stronger in my heart now more than ever. I love myself, because of all of the bits and pieces of odds and ends, that make up the consciousness of Paula. I’ve come to accept even those things that brought great disturbance to me for the greater part of my life, understanding that even those things make up who I am, for they speak not only of my life experiences, but also of my birth and my reason for being here in this beautiful body existing where I am right now.

Everything and every person has been my teacher, and has in some way helped to convey this integral message, from the cat that has crossed my path, to the elderly man who stares in the store, to my sister with whom I speak on the phone, to the spider who climbs down her web to greet me in mid air as I sit on my chair. The wind has reminded me of this love as she caresses my skin, also reminding me of the greater part of my consciousness which is unseen. It is one of the more dynamic lessons of life, and the unfathomable depths of bliss and richness it does bring, once the fullness of this lesson is perceived.

To accept something is to receive it with open hands and arms. I embrace me. I love me, and smile, perhaps with a tear or two for the part of my heart that wishes I’d have learned such a beautiful lesson many years ago.

What Peace Means

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Originally posted on Do Happenings:


I sometimes get inquiries from people who want to settle the problem of themselves once and for all. They assume that being at peace means that I have done this–that is, settled the problem of existence, of myself–and they think they have a picture of what all this means.

One of the big mistakes of spiritual seekers is the belief, propagated by gurus and other seekers, that there is a place or state where one can arrive and from that state, all the stuff of life resolves itself into bliss–which seekers often understand to be endless sensate or cognitive pleasure.

Any review of our most famous gurus, however, will always reveal “flaws.”  People who claim to experience no suffering seem to be angry, agitated, sad.  People who claim to have no sex drive hump like bunnies or in some cases, even suffer from sexual deviance.   Some of them might be…

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love muffin baked to perfection

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I sat earlier today going through some old files and photos and came across this pic from a few months ago. My 8 year old daughter insisted that I must share it, so here I go…lol.

Here’s our youngest baby, Kiro all full of smiles last November. He was 5 months old (8 months at present), and all ready for a morning romp around with his big brother and Daddy!

Can never get enough of the juicy cheeks and sweet smiles with a wee bit of dribble!!!


goodnight, my babies…

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goodnight my babies paula freesoulbeing

Goodnight my babies, the long hot day has come to an end.
Mama awaits the still, soft sound of your sleeping breath,
to snuggle close beside you.

~paula freesoulbeing